• There are many reasons people have sex.  You may have been in love and wanted a way to show it. Maybe you had sex when you didn't want to. Maybe you were drunk or high.
• After having sex, you may have discovered that you really weren't ready.
• No matter what your reasons were for having sex before, it is OK to say no now.

If You've Already Had Sex, Why Wait Now?

Thinking about why you want to wait now can help you follow through on your decision.  You may choose to wait because:

• You're not ready to have a baby.  Or, if your've already had a baby, you want to wait to have another. 
• You've realized the risk of HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases is just too high.
• You've made plans for the future.  You want to put your energy into making those plans come true.
• You've decided that you just weren't ready.
• There are many other good reasons....what are yours?

Be Up Front with the People You Date

• Let the people you date know you've chosen to wait and why.
• Be very clear about your limits around sex.
• If you are still seeing the person you had sex with before, let him or her know your reasons for saying no now.
• If the person you are dating pressures you to have sex, you may want to call it quits. Remember, you deserve someone who cares more about you than about sex.

It's Your Body and Your Decision

• You have the right to choose not to have sex now - even if you've had sex in the past.
• Be true to yourself.  Don't worry about what others think.
• Find people who will support your decision.  Tell a close friend, your parents or a trusted adult.
• Avoid drugs and alcohol.  They may get in the way of sticking with your decision.

How to Say No When You've Had Sex Before

If you're getting pressured, try these responses:

"Whats the big deal?  It's not like you've never done this before."

• "I don't want to do it again." 
• "The big deal is that it's my body and my decision."

• "I care about you a lot.  That's why I want to wait until I'm ready."
• "I thought I was ready before, but I wasn't."

• "It won't be better if I feel pressured."
• "Excuse me, but what part of NO don't you understand?"  

Even if You've Had Sex Before, It's Okay to Say "No" Now

There are many reasons for choosing abstinence. Unplanned pregnancy, HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases are just a few. Remember, it's your body and your decision.